It’s 4am and I’m laying in bed, wide awake, thinking instead of sleeping. I can’t stop thinking about how much I’m about to rock my kids’ world...again. In the last two years, my boys have seen seven foster siblings come and go. Seven brothers and sisters that we still talk about almost daily. Seven friends that they loved (and still love) entirely. Kids are amazing that way. Yes, Cody and I love each foster child that comes into our home with our whole hearts too, but it’s just different with kids.
There’s an innocence and naivety in a child’s love that is so beautiful.
Kids don’t worry about the future, or how long each new stage of life will last. They are fully present. They open their arms and embrace each new foster sibling without hesitation.
I have tried so hard to step back and love like my children do. It’s inspiring.
And now here I am again, about to add to the chaos. But this time with a new biological sibling. A baby is growing in my belly, and will most likely be in my arms any day now. And this time, we know this new family member will stay forever.
I am soaking up every last minute I have with just my two boys. Just Owen and Hank.
Owen. My sweet, sensitive, talkative, cuddly, inquisitive three year old. My first baby. He made me a mama. He may look just like his daddy, but his soul is mine. I love that he crawls into my bed every morning to cuddle and watch cartoons after his alarm turns green. I love that he talks to my belly. He’s been the best big brother. And also the best little brother to all of his foster siblings.
Hank. My little blondie. He’s so active, independent, stubborn, smart, and fun. He keeps me on my toes. I could listen to his rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” all day long (like I usually have to). He is his daddy’s mini. And even through all of his independence, he is still my little baby. I hope he never stops snuggling his head on my shoulder before bed. He has shared his mama with every new sibling so openly, through his entire life. I can’t wait to see him step into his role as big brother.
Yes, we will foster again. But for now, I lay here with my hand on my belly, imagining who this next babe in my belly will be. And how the rest of our family’s story will unfold. I’m both nervous and excited for the future. But I’m trying to embrace the present with open arms, and love like my children do.
Photo credit: Bailey Wilson Photography